Plum Flush

Plum Juice

I went to the grocery store and seen some plum juice and it said for a healthy digestive system drink 8 ounces a day! So i said hey! I wanna be healthy! I got up the next day amd got me a cup, poured me 8oz and chugged it! Twenty minutes later im sitting on the toilet shitting my guts out! I seen shit in there that didnt look like anything i had ever ate in my life! Fuck I kept checking the toilet to make sure i didnt shit out a spleen! Id hate to think that something that was posed to have made me healthy killed me! Id be embarrassed to show up at my own fucking funeral! Fuck me right! Just imagine the preacher! This brave young soul died tring to clean his colon! Did number two and blew a lung! Fuck that not me! The bubbles in my gut eased out and i grab the toilet paper to wipe my ass get half way up and the fucking toilet paper breaks! My finger slides up my poop shoot and i felt so violated! I felt stunned almost wanted to shit out my finger! Wtf was wrong with the cursed ass plum juice? Tries to make me healthy by turning me gay?!?!? Was this it ppl? Plum juice is the cause for cross dressing men with their pecker tucked in their ass? Ill tell you what tho Sunsweet plum juice almost had a rape charge on their hands! Im not 40 i dont need my anal checked! My hemroids aint flaring! I said well hell, it cleaned me out good! I kept thinking fucking right dawgie no one can tell me im fulla shit cause the shits left in the toilet on my hand under my nail and on the paper! Im fresh out! So i get up the next day and read the bottle again and it said "for maximum effect drink for 7 days" so i said fuck it! Im pooped out! I grabbed me a glass and drank it the second day thinking no biggie i shit my intestines out yesterday im all lysol clean on the inside! Well 20min later im walking down the headed it my jeep thought i had to fart and shit my pants! Im scared to walk faster to get to the toilet this shits running down my leg looking like a fuking muddy river!So im thinking wtf how do they expect me to get anything done! They should give u a coupon for some free depends with every purchase! I got butt raped by my finger and them fuckers owe me some undies now! The least the label should say is.....WARNING: may shit your pants after drinking please avoid long walks and locate nearest bathroom and if by chance you just have to get out then take chamge of clothes or steal your grandpas diaper! But hey you grab a used diaper thats your dumb ass fault if u cant tell the differents in shit odor and baby powder